20 wildly sensible mental notes
Some observations are not written in books and some advice is not given for free. Here are some of them compiled in one place. Some of them might feel a little far fetched but not so much once you give them a try.
3 min readJun 2, 2022
- Dont expose your true intentions or agenda immediately, learn to divert the conversation. Storytelling is going to be integral in getting what you want to get.
- Never oversell yourself in the first go, learn to read the room. Always better that people know less about you or your capabilities and be completely shocked by your skills later.
- Say the exact opposite of how you are doing, feeling, or experiencing till it's set in stone or the impending task related to it is done. You do not have to update another being about all the people you are talking to and what the conversation is about. That’s dangerous.
- To truly know someone's true intentions and nature, give them time. It takes a person an average of 90 days to give away what they truly want from you, for you to find out about their true nature or to come undone.
- If you feel someone has violated your boundaries, just move on, you owe no one an explanation. Also, it's useless to wait around for apologies.
- If we are not ok with someone’s behaviour, call it out within the hour. Take them to a corner or drop them a text. Never be confrontational.
- The more you write, the more documentation you have to observe the flaws or gaps in your understanding over a period of time.
- Never be easily available, people need to respect you, your skills and your time. It tells you a lot in actions about how others see you.
- Unresolved feelings should be swallowed (not acted upon), while unintended miscommunications should be clarified (not withheld) within 12–24 hours.
- Write shorter messages and emails. Leave things open to interpretation, it puts you in a position of power. Give longer pauses after making statements, people tend to fill them in. (People feel the need to fill the gap by explaining themselves.)
- Hold your opinions and your plans close to your chest. No one but you should be able to anticipate your next move.
- Always have a contingency plan. Don’t wait around for things to blow up to form one. Contingency planning, not assumptions. It's okay to have a backup plan. Choose to see the best in people but always have an idea of possible options or alternate directions.
- Original ideas and unique opinions should be recorded privately and shared with a small audience — only upon request. Else people never appreciate it or value it.
- Being nice is always and inevitably taken advantage of. Know your boundaries and limits.
- Plan your meetings around tasks and experiences and not the other way around — by planning tasks and experiences around people and their plans.
- Contrary to what we’ve been taught it's okay not to be too nice or too helpful. You have the full right to exercise how you feel about a situation and act according to what feels authentic to you than what would be the ‘nice’ thing to do.
- Say ‘yes’ more often. Start sentences with ‘yes’, be open to accepting feedback, and be open to new experiences and POV. It will make you more liked and in majority cases also make your opinions more easily accepted in return.
- Agree to participate in everything, accept invitations, but choose which to attend. Communicate in time if you cannot make it. Have options, not obligations.
- Treat everyone as your equal. Not everyone is going to measure to your scale of intelligence, and in turn, you’re probably going to fail on others' scales too. Accept that and underestimate no one.
- When challenges are thrown your way, which you dont believe you can manage but need to — start by creating micro job lists for each step of the task. It will give you a sense of control as the micro-tasks perceptually don’t sound as intimidating or complex as the big ones.
