Courtesies that you need despite being in the villain era of your life.

Courtesies that you need despite being in the villain era of your life.

Some rules of engagement cannot and should not be defied, irrespective of how you choose to live your life today.

Sure, you don’t give a shit about putting others first anymore or have recently become very aware of being a people pleaser and trying to reverse that. Or that fact that you feel your feelings and needs need to be put first. With you 100%, you deserve to do you first.

We all hit that age when we become hyper-aware of our roles in the lives of others. Or how we’ve generally been living our lives out or wasting them over time on some things or on of some people.

In this gambit, it seems people forget or have not ever been exposed to what they get wrong in human conduct, rather than balancing it with what others need or how they want to behave now.

Villain era after all means, choosing to do yourself first, being vocal about your own needs and feelings first. But it can be done without disrespecting others in the process.

Starting off, for the benefit of anyone starting or entering their villain era:

1. Don’t show off in front of those who are less fortunate. It's rude and makes you seem insensitive.
2. You don’t have a right to comment on someone’s appearance, how they dress, their home decor, or how they cook for entertainment. Respect their preference and their choices.
3. Don’t invade others’ privacy or breach it for entertainment. Never scroll through someone’s messages or photo gallery.
4. Respect others time and respect punctuality by being punctual yourself. Don’t hold others to time and standards when you can’t do so yourself.
5. Never cancel plans or change them at the last minute, give people at least 4–6hrs heads up when unavoidable.
6. Always remember your courtesies — sorry, please, and thank you. They don’t make you small. Say them as genuinely as possible. Look the person in the eyes when saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’.
7. Never hit a girl or a woman. Never hit them back. Disengage and walk away.
8. If someone goes out of their way to try to help you, for work, to get a job, to help with chores, etc, don't hold it to their necks, they tried on their own accord and will. You didn't pay them to help you out.
9. Take secrets to your grave, even if your relationships break or you become best enemies the next moment. Even those of your nemesis.
10. Never talk over someone or interrupt them while they are speaking.
11. Maintain sensitivity to how people react to your jokes and teases. Never repeat it if it made them uncomfortable. That makes you an asshole.
12. Never make jokes at the blatant expense of others, especially casually when you have nothing to convey to them.
13. Be open to everyone’s opinion and respect it. Accept that everyone doesn’t need to agree to yours alone. Listening to your opinions is not the same as accepting them.
14. Always avoid public confrontations, especially when it’s a sensitive matter. Maintaining objectivity and politeness.
15. Be as nice and kind to those less privileged or in positions below you as much as you would be to those more privileged or above you.
16. Pick up your plate dirty and put keep it in the kitchen yourself, empty it in the dustbin yourself and always tuck your chair back into the table once you get up. Never assume it’s anyone else’s responsibility but your own. Even when there is house help.
17. Irrespective of it being a guy, a girl, an elder, or a child, always open the door for the person behind you.
18. If you take a cab with a friend or if your friend pays for a meal, ensure you pay for it next time. These things need to return in the same form and without reminders.
19. If you borrow someone’s car for a day or for a week, always refuel it and ensure you give it back completely cleaned both from the inside and out.
20. If you ever borrow something from someone and end up damaging it, always inform them immediately and apologize for the same and always ask to pay for fixing it or replacing it.
21. If you take a loan from someone, ensure you return it in time without them having to ask for it back.
22. When someone offers to treat you, don’t inconvenience them by deliberately ordering the most expensive food and drinks on the menu, especially something you yourself won’t otherwise pay for.
23. Never call someone back continuously more than two times. Wait for them to call back after your second call. Especially if it’s not life-threateningly urgent. People don’t wait around for your calls; they might be stuck or in the middle of something else.
24. Don’t ask about the price of clothes, gifts, jewelry, car, or someone’s salary in public, irrespective of how closely you may know them. Ask the brand or their designation and google it yourself, later.
25. Never introduce someone as ‘rich’ or ‘famous’ or by their work designation. Especially when introducing them to friends or family. Never talk about how rich someone is or about their family and stature in public.

You may think these are common knowledge, but it’s not the case. These things not only help build strength in your character but also help you gain genuine respect from others.

Sure, there will be people who don’t really follow these rules of engagement, remember — chances are, like you, they too have not been exposed to these things firsthand. Do them a favor and share this article with them!